Essay - The Issues of Successful and Unhappy Marriages.

 

01/7Marital issues and how to tackle those

Every marriage is different and so are the issues that couples face in their conjugal life. However, there are a few common problems, which challenge the love and respect married couples have for each other. While some succumb to these hurdles and part their ways, others overcome these to lead a happy life. We talked to relationship expert and senior consultant psychologist Shweta Singh about the common marital issues and how should couples tackle these. Here’s what she shared:

02/7Trouble with in-laws

In an Indian family, this perhaps is the most common issue that married couples face. Especially, feuds between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is nothing new. There are many reasons, such as adjustment problems, unjust expectations, cultural difference and others, responsible for the negative attitude they have for each other. The best way to overcome this is by being patient. For a daughter-in-law, it’s important to understand that it’s not only she who needs to adjust but the members of her new family too are doing the same. And the same goes for the mother-in-law as well. Also, getting the husband involved in their fights is a wrong thing to do. Instead, he should be consulted but not forced to take sides. Take time to understand the expectations in-laws have and respectfully inform them of the discomforts or misunderstanding arising from the same if any.

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03/7​Irritating habits of a spouse

It’s not uncommon for a newly-married woman to complain about her husband’s irritating habits like leaving a wet towel on the bed, spending more time with friends etc. Similarly, even a man has trouble adjusting to his wife's habits, which he must have been unaware of like overspending, unjust expectations etc. They need to remember that marriage needs adjustment from both the partners and lifelong habits cannot be changed overnight. The best option here is to tell the partner about it and give him or her a fair amount of time to change any irritable or harmful habits if possible.

04/7Unequal division of household chores

This is something that most working couples have to face after marriage. A lot of times, only the wife is expected to take care of the household chores. The best way to tackle this situation if by addressing it directly. Talking to the partner who is shying away from his or her responsibilities might be helpful. If required chart out a schedule assigning individual duties. It might be a little difficult to follow the schedule initially but once the couples start doing it, things will fall into place.

05/7Financial problems

While many issues can be tackled once faced, financial crisis can entirely be avoided if the right steps are taken quite in advance. Before marriage, not everyone has the idea about the kind of financial challenges they might face and matters related to money get more serious after childbirth. The best way to deal with this issue is by making a financial plan and creating an account for a contingency fund, which they can use during emergencies. It’s important to think about the future and always have a foresight about unexpected expenditure. Also, taking advice from experts for financial planning can be a great help.

06/7​Boredom

Remember, marriage, like any other relationships, is for a lifetime and it’s normal for couples to feel boredom settling in after a few years of being married. In fact, a lot of married people seek professional help during this phase because they believe that something might be wrong in the relationship. The best way to overcome this hurdle is by accepting it and understanding the fact that marriage needs efforts to make it work. This is the reason why it’s important to do things that excite both the partners. If travelling is what makes them happy, they should take some time out of their busy schedule to explore new places or if both like being indoors, how about redecorating their place? A sense of newness is what makes any relationship an exciting affair. Also, taking up responsibilities together like taking loan for a house or buying a car can give them a new sense of duties and help them stay together.

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07/7​Picking up old issues while fighting

Whether couples agree to it or not, many have the habit of referring to old issues during new fights. If open communication fails to resolve it, ignorance can be the best medicine. If a spouse keeps picking up old issues, the best reply is to not give him or her any reply. When the partner will not receive any reaction over a time, he or she would stop repeating the same.